A Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Yours

Let’s say you happen to meet a really great guy. He’s cute, charming and incredibly sexy. You connected right off the bat and you both agree you would like to go on more dates.

Are you ready to open up your heart to him?

Are you ready to show up with open arms and without the games?

Are you ready to accept fear and not let it run you down like a stampede of wild horses?

You wouldn’t believe how often I hear men say, “I like to be pursued” and then they wonder why the hell they’re still single. Shit, it’s as if they were the only one involved in this exploration. For me personally, I run for the hills. This tactic only gives me hints of what the relationship is going to be like.

Are you ready to show up, and wear your heart on your sleeve?

My belief is, as soon as there is a hint of a game, it almost never works out. That’s not to say that there isn’t some kind of playing happening. Dating should be playful. Almost like a dance. The dance between two energetically matched men, testing the waters and taking the time to build trust and open hearts.

That’s really the only game that you should be playing.

Leave the Games to Milton Bradley

Know as soon as you create that intention, that, “I want to be pursued,” kind of energy, you have created your outcomes and experiences already.

You may attract men who like to pursue, but who may not be able to follow through with what it takes to build a relationship.

You will attract men who are not ready for a relationship. They waffle and are extremely afraid to take the right risks. Hence the pursuing; It’s just a clever way of hiding.

They pursue too hard. They are often forceful and pushy with their actions and have defensive attitudes when you don’t reciprocate. Hey, they’re supposed to be the pursuers, so why are they getting all huffy?

You will experience more heartache and pain, because honestly, you are both pursuing eachother. If you are sitting back, picking your nose while someone is taking all the action, thats not fair and, honestly, that sounds tiring evening thinking about it.

You might even be so caught up in the chase, that you forget why you are here in the first place, and that’s to explore joy and happiness with each other. I’m not saying that dating and relationships don’t take work, because they do.

They take a different kind of work. The kind of work that reaps an amazing return on investment. A return that can only be measured in deep breathing and smiles. AND If you’ve decide that you need to have the energy of the “hunt and kill,” its pretty much a given that your internal life is chaotic.

How do I know if I am stuck in this mad rut?

Well, chances are you’re showing many signs, but you don’t know what they are. Here are some of those signs you might be able to recognize in yourself, so you can stop the cat and mouse game and start playing something different. Something better!

1. Your dates are complicated and full of drama. No matter what you do to meet men you always seem to meet guys who bring drama into your life. Not so fast, you. Remember, it’s a two way street. He may be bringing drama in, but there is something you are doing to contribute to it.

2. You are feeling more loneliness than completeness. Most days you feel depressed and alone, because, well, you are alone. You see yourself as being incomplete just because you are not in a relationship. This is important, because you are entering the dating world with this energy, and those worthwhile cuties can pick up on it, like me, and believe me, we’ll run the other way. Hey, it’s not cruel – it’s just true. We’ve worked hard at connecting to our hearts.

3. Your heart is miles away from your efforts. Ok, you try so hard to make connections with guys. I know you do. Online dating, bars and maybe even getting numbers when you are out and about. You think you put your awesome heart into it and then push blame when it gets squashed. “There are no good men out there!” “All the good ones are taken!” “He never returned my calls!” If you can simply put more heart into your man searches, and I the kind of heart that means, you’re ok with rejection, know it takes time and that you are ok being single, you will hit upon the hottest love you’ve EVER experienced!

Take these hints and hold them up to your life and see if any or all ring true for you. Guys, its simple. Either piss or get off the potty. Its time to take hold of this thing called love and finally own it. Own it in our heart and own it in your body. I know you can do it!

PS – Would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments, good or bad. I want to hear’em!

xoxox

Greg