P90X^® is a revolutionary system of 12 sweat-inducing, muscle-pumping workouts, designed to transform your body from regular to ripped in just 90 days.

My own description is that above PLUS it’s 90 days of spiritual transformation, because this journey isn’t all about how I want to look – but more about how I want to feel.

This challenge brings up some thoughts:

1. Since I am HIV positive, I want to be as physically fit as possible as to not give this virus a single chance of taking me down.

2. I want and need more discipline in my life. This for me, is a spiritual discipline – mentally, physically and spiritually.

3. I want to look HOT. This is last, because even though it’s important to me, it’s not the driving force behind my P90X journey.

I am going to start the first day on my birthday, Saturday, March 13 – which is tomorrow. I figure, it is perfect timing seeing that the P90X program arrived today, the day before my birthday. YAY!

It also gives me time to study the books and the meal plan thoroughly before starting.

Tomorrow I will also post before pictures and will be blogging everyday. Also, this is perfect timing, because the program will end a few weeks before I do my HIV and Profound Visibility run on June 22nd. Everything seems to be lining up in such a natural progression. AMAZING!

Until tomorrow…

Your friend,

Greg

Makes you blush. ; )

Then when you think about approaching him your monkey mind does everything in its power to convince you to hold back and not go over to him, or even think about leaving all together?

Or you’re the perpetual nervous and shy ‘Wall Flower’ standing against the wall alone and you fold, clam up, or pack up and leave every time someone approaches you?

What would it be like to be a self-starter?

When you create that easy and flowing connection between you and that other guy it opens up the channels for more, and more communication.

A reciprocation of energy.

Guys? I’ve been there, trust me. Actually I stuttered and got cold sweats every time someone approached me, let alone never thought about approaching someone else to start a conversation.

I would do anything and everything just to leave and avoid conversations with guys. I would even create a way to duck out. Completely unnoticed.

Maybe you’ve thought about approaching some really big challenges in your life like when it comes to meeting men. Like getting out more, changing how you’re meeting men or how you settle when it comes the guys you’re meeting, but every time you make any attempts, you fold and give up.

Well, there is something quite transformational and super life shifting when you can take any kind of opportunity and say YES to it now no matter how scary or threatening it may feel.

Quite truthfully, by saying YES, this creates an incredible ripple effect in other areas of your life. It really loosens things up so to speak.

The best way I can describe this to you is through my own life example. With the energy of a new year and all of the possibilities it brings, I was confronted with my heart whispering to me over and over again: You’re Hiding.

I could have either let it go, ignore that voice, or choose to listen and really hear what my heart meant, and was telling me, by that ongoing thought: You’re Hiding.

I chose to listen and explore. As scary as it was, I did it.  It’s OK. I’m going to clear something up for you. We are not born effective communicators or studs or great conversationalists. It’s a skill.

A skill that needs to be developed and honed. It’s absolutely doable at any age in one’s life.

Start getting curious at where it is in your life you might be hiding when it comes to meeting guys, dating and talking to men. Is there one thing you can do right NOW, like, let’s say, approach one guy this week and simply start a conversation with him? Do some research and Find out where the kind of guys you want to date, hang out.

Your friend,

Greg Halpen

www.TheGayGuysLoveCoach.com

I needed to pump up my life, my coaching and my business in a uniquely profound way. I mean,
my life is pretty darn amazing, I have to admit. I wake up EVERY morning with the zest of life, ready to face what the day has in store with me.

I walk throughout my day with an air of freedom and confidence that totally blows ME away. I’m dating some really amazing men who fit the vision I have created for my ideal Mr. Right! It’s happening.

So guys, as you begin the New Year in your love life, do you have a theme or a direction
for your life planned out? I’ve decided to do this annually and it makes a huge difference in my own life focus and with the clients that I work with.

This year, is the year of Profound Visibility.

One thing I know about myself is, that, I was a person who hid a lot. No matter what I thought I was doing in my life to shine and that even includes the men I’ve taught along the way, I was still hiding.

Then I realized something quite chilling. Guys, if I want to make important positive differences in the lives of more single gay men, and really, the world – I mean in a profound way, I needed to really look at where was hiding in my life.

Well, to give you an example of what I mean, here are some ways I’m increasing my Profound Visibility.

1. I am coming out of the closet as a Zen practitioner. For some reason, somewhere in my sometimes thinking monkey mind,  I created the belief that my subscribers would unsubscribe and  clients would run for the hills if I infused my Zen work into the  ‘single gay guy’ work that I do. I found it’s the total opposite reaction. In fact, most guys are drawn to this kind of work.

So, suffice it to say I will be mixing in Zen lessons into the work that I do; a more modern approach, that’s fun and exciting.

2. I am ditching the podcast, for now, and will do special Life Shift Videos and what that means is, I will produce short  videos teaching you exactly what you can do make HUGE profound shifts in your thinking and belief systems around love.

3. Collaborate with some of the top experts in the field of dating, relationships, healing and Zen. I want to unveil my heart and open up to more people who have already made amazing positive differences in the world.  I want to reach in and help them spread their amazing life’s work.

4. Kicking up my spiritual practicing by becoming a student of Zen in Syracuse, NY. There is a beautiful Zendo in the small city I live in. I’ve already been in contact with the Roshi there,  and it looks like I will be starting soon. I’m pretty excited!

5. The ever so brilliant speaker within. I am launching my speaker self out into the world. I must be totally honest with you and humbly say that even though the men I work with one-to-one rant and rave about my teachings, getting up in front of hundreds of guys kinda pulls at my anxiety strings. But like the force that I am, I’m always willing to take on and master a new challenge.

Those are some of the ways that I am stepping out into the light to allow who I am to be visible.

Most importantly, as the year progresses, I will be making some amazing changes to the structure of my coaching practice and  programs, so you will be able to interact more with the website.

The Gay Guy’s Love Coach Bottom Line: 2010 is my year of Profound Visibility and I am committed to stepping out on the front line to help my subscribers and clients thrive, not only in LOVE, but in LIFE!

What are YOU going to do to become more visible in the world and importantly in the world of LOVE?

Until next time…

All the best for Profound Visibility in 2010!

Your friend,

Greg Halpen
www.TheGayGuysLoveCoach.com

]]> http://www.thegayguyslovecoach.com/home/2010/01/2010-the-year-of-profound-visibility/feed/ 11 http://www.thegayguyslovecoach.com/home/2009/11/784/ http://www.thegayguyslovecoach.com/home/2009/11/784/#comments Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:41:49 +0000 coachgreg38 http://www.thegayguyslovecoach.com/home/?p=784

Hey, guys, this is Greg Halpen from TheGayGuysLoveCoach.com and welcome to the Naked Truth About Dating – this is undoubtedly the most progressive podcast on dating advice for single gay men, that you’ll ever listen too. (You can skip to the bottom to listen to the Podcast)

You know, dates, especially the first few can be pretty daunting. You arrive nervous and anxious and feeling like you have been put under the microscope for scrutinizing.

You’re like, “OMG, I can’t believe I’m doing this – I’m, I’m sharing myself with another human being – Head Talk – Head Talk -  Head Talk!”

There’s something about feeling like we’re being judged or possibly rejected, that keeps us from being in the moment and enjoying all that’s present.

As if this unknown force has taken over your ability to communicate freely and have fun and mostly, guys, listening to your intuition….

Here are a few cool secrets, that I use and my clients use to help them have the best dating experience ever.

1. Ok, first – Don’t make the first, 2nd , 3rd,  dates such a drawn out event.  Make the first few dates light;  Maybe by agreeing that it will be a coffee or a dessert date.

Baby steps guys – Keep it short and simple and initiate your exit in a calm and direct way. Often times guys make the first date really long and intense.

Dating is about exploring each other’s worlds. This will show green flags of independence and individuality on your part.

2. Hopefully beforehand you know a little about the guy you are dating or going on the date with. Take the attention of yourself by being genuinely interested in something he does in life.

3. and don’t forget to breathe…stay in tune to your breathing.

4. Your Gut is telling you something and maybe you wont know until after the first few dates, but your heart is letting you know whether or not he’s a match for you – but I want to warn you that your HEAD will also try and get in there and tell you differently.

5. Stay out of your head. I know your thoughts are running 500 hundred miles a minute – everything from what happened when you were 10 years old, what you had for dinner the night before to how much you are judging the very words you are saying.

Well, guys, thanks for listening ad Happy Thanksgiving!

The Past is History, The Future is a Mystery and The present is a Gift!

Listen here:

Until next time…

Your friend,

Greg Halpen

I LOVE storms!

Then all of a sudden….

P stormed into my room, like some frantic house wife who couldn’t find her bottle of pills — demanding the computer to email our landlord about a leak in the ceiling. You see, last night it stormed pretty severely and it flooded a small portion of P’s bedroom upstairs that made it’s way downstairs into the living room.

Me? I can sleep through almost anything. It’s a gift, what can I say?

Now, as I tried to keep my cool and channeled everything I learned in therapy, I blew a major gasket.

Now, it isn’t rocket science, but what happens when someone, who is in a deep sleep, and then suddenly jolted into chaos?  Now–call me split personality crazy, but shouldn’t he have called her? Shouldn’t he have realized, while screaming that I was inconsiderate, that calling Diana or waiting to email in the morning would have been a better idea? OR better yet, that I need some wake up space? Yes, water was coming in, but is it cause such nastiness?

Well, his argument was, it was midnight and too late to call the landlord. Um….HELLO!!

It’s not that I was being inconsiderate. When I sleep, I sleep deeply and when woken up it takes me a little while to collect myself or even coherently function. So, when I asked P. if he could take the computer outside is when he started to throw attitude, remarks and comments.

It went something like this:

P: Muah Muah Muah Mauh

Greg: It’s ok. calm down. stop yelling at me.

P: Muah Muah Muah Mauh

Greg: (get’s out of bed and follows Pete to the hallway) Ok – P, what happened?

P’s Mom: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah WATER Blah Blah and you Blah Blah

Greg: Oh – now two people are yelling at me? ( I turn around, walk back into my room and slam the door off it’s hinges)

Finally, I sat at the edge of my bed, took in some long deep breathes until pooch and I found our rhythm and fell back to sleep.

Moral of the story?

Never wake me up like that again becasue I wont take any prisoners!

It’s quite real that dating can be a scary experience. After all, you’re putting yourself out there; you’re being vulnerable and setting yourself up for possible rejection – so, why are you taking the fast track approach to being in a relationship?  Well, my gut instinct is telling me all of this can be avoided if one simply gets smart about dating.
The bottom line:  If you take your time, do the groundwork and be aware of that part of you that wants to have everything right NOW, you are likely to avoid the heartache.

What are you willing to do to ensure that your love life takes the front seat? Are you finally ready to acknowledge that part of you, deep down inside, that desires a loving, meaningful relationship? After all, you do have so much to offer, right? To get you started, I’ve compiled a list of 7 Reasons why you need to be paying attention to so that you can turn your love life around.

Helpful Reason #1: You don’t do the groundwork. After just a few dates, you’ve already made the decision that he’s the right guy for you. Hang on! This is your life we’re talking about. Dating is about being smart, gathering information, exploring each others’ world and defining what the relationship means to you.

Helpful Reason #2: You spend way too much time on the first, second and even third date. As the old saying goes, “Less is more.” Keep the meeting short and sweet. However, do be observant and present to the occasion; tune into him and your feelings. Remember, this is the first impression he’ll get of you.

Helpful Reason #3: You approach dating with a lot of desperation. Gosh, we all want to love and be loved, but you may not have grasped the true value in being a successful single yet. You may not have taken care of the important areas of your life; emotional, financial, spiritual and supportive, so you can date with confidence and freedom.

Helpful Reason #4: You don’t know how to be yourself. In business and your career you may be at the top of your game, but for some strange reason when it comes to matters of the heart, you become paralyzed. Being social is something that might be a challenge for you. You might even believe that if you were to be the real you, you might scare him off. Is that really true and how do you know that to be true? Remember, there is something about being vulnerable with another person that makes you very attractive.

Helpful Reason #5: You can’t wait to have sex. The connection is right and the sexual attraction is on high. You think if you connect sexually, that means you are right for each other in terms of a committed relationship. Well, the fact is, sex and sexual attraction is only a small part of the relationship equation. Having sex too soon can cloud your judgment.

Helpful Reason #6: Your standards are too high. Relax on this one. Someone recently told me that he’s been single for 10 years and refuses to date due to not being able to meet someone who can meet his high standards. Those were his words exactly. It’s perfectly fine to have standards, in fact, I recommend having standards – IF they are realistic and based on your core values?

Helpful Reason #7: You forget to have fun. This one really sums it up. Have fun, keep it simple and smile.

So, it’s time to take these helpful reasons and start building that confidence that you already have to meet your Mr. Right. If you do the groundwork, build a solid foundation by knowing who you are, what you want in an ideal partner and relationship and how to get there, not only will you experience an amazing feeling of freedom around everything that happens in your life you will stand up and notice all of the amazing guys you come in contact with everyday.

Hey, I know the drill….you’re starting to feel good about him, your connecting in amazing ways, you don’t use your teeth when you’re giving you know what and BOOM, he drops the BOMB that he’s dating other guys and sleeping with them too.

Hey, whatever you do in your bedroom, is so OK by me – what’s NOT OK is when you’re not being clear and upfront with him at the beginning by letting him know you are seeing different guys and that you are (or not) sexually active with them.

Guys, it really boils down to this. If you are dating to meet your ideal man and think that you will do it by double dipping your dip stick, you’ve got another thing coming. The only thing you will get closer to is an STD or right back where you started when you were desperately single.
Sounds rough, huh?

Well, it is, but someone has to give you the cosmic 2×4 upside your love box so you can begin to see why that strategy doesn’t work anymore. Also, you will start see how this might kinda upset the poor dude you’ve been keeping secrets from.

OK – I know I was a bit rough, but remember, I love you and will give you huge bear hug AND a little strategy on how you can show up in all honesty.

So, here’s your <HUG> and here’s your strategy.

Your Simple Strategy

OK -what is one of the most powerful values you can practice when dating a potential boyfriend?

It’s a value that stands the test of time in any relationship.  It’s yummy AND delicious. Need a hint?

It begins with a “C.”  No, NOT that!

It’s COMMUNICATION.

If you are not communicating honesty right up front, why would your “potential beau” have any reason to trust you in a relationship?
Interesting,  huh?

When you first meet someone and it starts to develop into more of a consistent dating thing, somewhere between your 3th and 5th date and before SEX, you should tell your guy that you are seeing different people, because that just how you roll or how you like to search for your partner or whatever seems right wording for you.

Ahem – yes – this is when you tell him you’re also sleeping with them too. This will give your guy the opportunity to make a fast get-away or stay and listen. Chances are, since you were so upfront he’ll probably stick around and explore things further. And not only that, doesn’t it feel EMPOWERING? You are going to be such a stud now, because you’re wearing your honesty briefs…YUM!

Like I said, if you are truly seeking your true love, your homeboy or your life partner, this strategy will help you get miles closer. And this may not be EARTH SHATTERING advice, but sometimes all it takes is a little validation and permission to do what you’ve always wanted to do…be HONEST!